THIS IS KIND OF LONG BUT IT IS FUNNY SO TAKE SOME TIME TO READ A LITTLE Ice water was banned in 15 states today. Scientists say that it causes a bad feeling in mice. Dr. Anderson of M.I.T. did an experiment in January and released their statement around March. The Daily News That Didn’t Make The News was able to obtain the report, which outlines what they did in the experiment. The report stated, “Two sets of mice {with} 5 mice in each were taken. One set was given tap water, and the other set was given ice water. At the end of a two-hour period each mouse in the {ice water} group was asked if they had a bad feeling, and they didn’t say no, so naturally we concluded that they did. For the {tap water} group each was asked if they had a bad feeling, and they didn’t say yes, proving they did not have a bad feeling of tap water. The Michigan governor sent the bill to a federal level and congress voted that ice water is banned in Michigan, California, Iowa, Illinois, Connecticut, Virginia, Washington, North Dakota, Missouri, Mississippi, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Maine and South Dakota. But black market ice water selling continues. Officer Davenport of Minnesota made a statement yesterday saying, “It’s everywhere! I see cases daily of our undercover agents that hide behind toilets busting two guys who exchange the substance in bathrooms. Three big dealers have been taken into custody since February. Their deals are pretty much the same. You see a converted closet with a water pipe, an icemaker, and an average of $300,000 in a wall safe or something.” Texas seems to be a large beacon for those who crave the stuff. “Its mass produced like you wouldn’t believe down here! In some restaurants waiters just set it down even if you aint want it!!!” says Texas resident Ian Wolf. It is possible that that the whole country will have what is now called the Cold Ban. Further bulletins will be posted as the events warrant.